When your young child is struggling at school, especially in Kindergarten, it can be confusing and emotional to hear that the school is asking you to pick them up early each day.
This guide from our ABA therapy team is meant to help you understand your rights, the school’s responsibilities, and how to collaborate effectively to support your child’s success.
Looking for support? Our Parent Support & Guidance program helps those who feel overwhelmed and require coaching and resources.
Table of Contents
Understanding the Situation
Children with autism or other developmental differences often need additional support to regulate, communicate, and participate in a full school day.
However, a school asking a family to consistently pick up a child early—especially without a formal plan in place—is considered a form of informal exclusion.
Even though Kindergarten attendance is not legally required, your child still has the right to access a full day of education. Schools are expected to find ways to support your child in being safely and meaningfully included.
Part-Time Days: When and How They Can Help
Shortened days can be an effective strategy when used intentionally and temporarily as part of a gradual re-entry plan. For some children, half-days allow them to experience success and end the day positively while building endurance for full days. If this is being proposed, request that it be:
- In writing (an agreed-upon plan or transition schedule).
- Time-limited with clear review dates and measurable goals.
- Part of a support plan, not a disciplinary measure.
The school should schedule a meeting within a week to review your child’s needs and develop a plan to increase participation over time.
When Safety Is Cited
In rare cases, a school may argue that your child cannot safely remain for the full day. This is sometimes referred to as a “safe schools exclusion.” This type of exclusion must:
- Involve the superintendent of the board.
- Include a clear plan for return, with timelines and steps for identifying unmet needs.
- Be documented formally, not informally managed by daily early pick-ups.
True safety-based exclusions are rare. Over 30 years in education, many administrators report only a handful of such cases, usually when multiple staff, protective equipment, or additional supports could not ensure safety.
When You’re Asked to Pick Up Your Child
It’s important to consider: are you picking up your child to help them, or to help the school?
If your child is overwhelmed and truly unwell, an early pick-up can be a compassionate decision—much like keeping a sick child home.
However, if the school is calling because of behavioural challenges that staff are struggling to manage, it should be documented as a suspension or exclusion, not an approved absence.
Documentation helps ensure accountability and can trigger access to supports. In early grades, suspensions are limited to very specific circumstances.
Access to Support Staff (EAs)
Educational Assistants (EAs) are typically assigned to schools, not to individual students. Principals decide how to deploy their staff within those allocations. While resources are limited, families can:
- Ask what supports are currently being provided.
- Request a Safety Plan or Behaviour Support Plan outlining specific strategies and staff roles.
- Share strategies that work at home to help the team better understand the child.
It’s appropriate to advocate for more support, but also to collaborate on how to build independence and skills over time.
Working With the School Team
Strong relationships are key. Most educators and administrators genuinely want to help, but communication can break down when emotions run high. Try to:
- Approach meetings with confidence and kindness.
- Write down questions or concerns beforehand.
- Ask for all decisions to be documented with a rationale.
- Request to see updated safety or behaviour plans after incidents.
- Ask specifically: “What steps are being taken to prevent this from happening again?”
- If you feel too upset to take notes, bring an advocate or support person.
You are the expert on your child. Your insight into what helps your child calm, engage, and learn is invaluable. A good team will invite your input and include it in their planning.
Next Steps if Your Child Is Being Excluded
- Request a meeting with the principal and the special education team.
- Ask for documentation of the early pick-ups and reasons given.
- Request development of an IEP based on your child’s diagnosis and needs, even before an IPRC meeting.
- Ask for a written plan to support full-day attendance, including safety strategies, visuals, and regulation supports.
- If informal exclusion continues without progress, contact the superintendent or special education coordinator.
Our Final Thoughts
Navigating early exclusion can be exhausting, especially for families just starting their school journey.
Stay calm, patient, and persistent. Collaborate when possible—but advocate firmly when needed.
Your child has a right to an inclusive education, and with the right supports, most children can thrive in school environments that understand their needs.